I work as a behavior analyst who spends most of my week supporting young children in home-based and clinic-based ABA programs, and play is one of the tools I rely on most. I have sat on living room floors building block towers, pushed toy cars across therapy tables, and turned snack preparation into a chance to practice communication. Play gives me useful information. It shows me what motivates a child, how they handle changes, and which skills are more likely to carry into everyday life.
Why I Start With the Child’s Interests
I rarely begin a session by placing five unfamiliar activities on a table and expecting a child to participate. I usually spend the first 5 or 10 minutes watching what they choose when several familiar toys are available. A child may head straight for a train set, a container of animal figures, or a particular music toy. Those choices tell me much more than simply asking what they like.
One child I worked with last winter could spend a long time arranging small vehicles into rows. Instead of constantly pulling him away from the cars, I began joining his activity and gradually adding small changes to it. I might place one vehicle in a different position or hold a favorite car for a moment so he had a natural reason to communicate. The goal was not to interfere with his enjoyment but to use an activity he already valued.
I also pay close attention to how a child responds when another person enters their play. Some children welcome interaction almost immediately, while others need several sessions before they are comfortable sharing materials or following someone else’s idea. In one early session, I spent nearly 15 minutes simply copying a child’s actions with a second set of blocks. By the next week, he was looking over at my tower and occasionally adding a block to it.
Turning Ordinary Play Into Learning Opportunities
The strongest play sessions often look fairly ordinary from across the room. A child may be rolling a ball, feeding a toy animal, or pretending to make breakfast while I quietly arrange opportunities to practice communication and flexibility. Families interested in play-based ABA therapy may find that this style connects structured teaching goals with activities a child naturally wants to continue. I often prefer a 10-minute period of engaged floor play over a longer activity that requires constant prompting just to keep the child involved.
Suppose a child loves bubbles but usually grabs the bottle instead of requesting help. I might hold the closed bottle for a few seconds and give the child space to communicate through a word, gesture, picture, or other response already included in their program. Once they respond, I open the bubbles and keep the interaction moving. That keeps the consequence connected to something meaningful instead of turning communication into an abstract exercise.
I use the same idea with pretend play. A toy kitchen can create opportunities for requesting items, following short directions, taking turns, and responding to another person’s ideas during a single 12-minute activity. I do not try to work on every possible target at once because that usually makes the interaction feel crowded. Two carefully selected goals are often enough.
Another useful feature of play is that it gives me room to vary the situation. If a child can request a red block during a formal teaching task, I want to know whether that request still happens while building a garage on the floor with a sibling nearby. Skills can look very different once the setting changes. That shift matters.
Keeping Play Natural Without Losing Clinical Structure
Play-based sessions still require planning. Before I arrive, I usually know which 2 or 3 goals I want to create opportunities for, what kinds of reinforcement are likely to work, and what responses I need to record. The difference is that I do not need every teaching opportunity to happen at a desk. I can collect useful information while a child is moving around the room.
A parent once asked me whether playing for much of a session meant we were being less structured. I understood the concern because good play-based teaching can look casual from the outside. During that particular session, I was tracking independent requests, responses to simple directions, and how long the child stayed engaged with another person before leaving the activity. There was structure underneath the play, even though the child was laughing over a toy farm rather than sitting beside a stack of flashcards.
I am also careful about prompting. If I provide a verbal prompt every 3 seconds, I can quickly turn an enjoyable activity into something that feels controlled by the adult. Instead, I often wait briefly, change the environment, or create a small reason for the child to respond before giving more direct help. That extra space can reveal what the child can actually do independently.
Data still matters in these sessions. I might record whether a child initiated interaction 4 times during a game or needed help during 3 out of 6 turn-taking opportunities. I do not need to interrupt the game after every response to make a mark on a clipboard. Good preparation allows me to observe carefully while protecting the flow of the interaction.
Using Play to Practice Flexibility and Social Skills
One of the most useful things I can do during play is introduce small, manageable changes. Real play rarely follows one script, so it naturally creates chances to practice tolerating a different idea or responding when another person changes the activity. I may move a train onto a different track, suggest a new role during pretend play, or ask for a turn with a preferred object. The size of the change matters.
I once worked with a child who became upset whenever someone changed the order of his animal figures. During the first few sessions, I made very small adjustments and quickly returned the toys once he tolerated the change. Weeks later, he could participate in a 15-minute animal game where both of us moved the figures and created different pretend scenes. Progress like that tends to develop through repeated, manageable practice rather than one large demand.
Sibling play can be especially useful because it introduces reactions I cannot fully control. A brother may choose the wrong puzzle piece or a sister may suddenly change the rules of a simple game. I can prepare for those moments and support the child without scripting every interaction. Two children playing together often create more natural variation than I could design on my own.
I also avoid forcing pretend play into a particular form just because adults expect it to look a certain way. Some children prefer physical games, construction toys, sensory materials, drawing, or simple cause-and-effect activities. My job is to find useful teaching opportunities within the kinds of play the child can genuinely engage with. A therapy activity does not become better simply because it looks more conventional.
Helping Skills Move Beyond the Therapy Session
I pay close attention to whether a skill appears with different people and materials. A child who takes turns with me during a familiar board game may still have trouble taking turns with a cousin using a completely different toy. I might practice the same underlying skill across 3 settings over several weeks rather than assuming one successful session means the skill is established. Generalization needs opportunities.
Parents often help me identify where those opportunities already exist. Bath time, getting dressed, backyard play, and a 20-minute trip to the park can all reveal practical communication or flexibility goals. I do not want families recreating a therapy room in every part of the house. I would rather help them notice a few moments where a skill can be practiced naturally.
I remember a family who kept a small basket of toys near the kitchen because their child usually played there while dinner was being prepared. We used that routine to practice asking for help and tolerating short waits. The parent did not need to run a formal lesson every evening. A few well-timed opportunities were enough to keep the skill active between sessions.
My expectations also change as a child develops. An activity that worked well 6 months ago may no longer be interesting, and a goal that once required heavy support may become part of everyday play. I regularly adjust materials, interaction styles, and teaching opportunities instead of protecting a routine simply because it used to work. Play changes, and therapy should respond to that change.
I have found that some of my most productive sessions are the ones where the child barely notices how many learning opportunities have occurred. I still prepare carefully, measure meaningful behavior, and adjust my teaching based on what I observe, but I do not want those clinical tasks to overwhelm the interaction itself. A child who willingly returns to an activity gives me more chances to teach than a child who spends the session trying to escape it. For me, that is why thoughtful play remains such a practical part of ABA therapy.